If a rabbit doesn’t eat enough high-fiber foods, its teeth may grow uncontrollably, piercing the roof of its mouth and knifing the base of its brain.

Your brain is safe, but we’re not so sure about the rest of your body. Forgo the fiber and you extend an open invitation to several different cancers. You also raise your risk of diabetes and heart disease by up to 20 and 40 percent, respectively.

And in the fate-worse-than-death category, you increase the odds that you’ll end up fat and impotent. So while you may not die like a bunny rabbit, you won’t be doing it like one, either.

Notice, we haven’t even mentioned the c-word (constipation).

But even if you have the will to eat more fiber, you almost certainly don’t have the way. Especially since the recommended daily dosage was recently raised from 25 to a throat-choking 38 grams.

The obvious solution—eating 19 slices of whole-wheat bread a day—isn’t practical. What you need instead is subterfuge. Dietary deception. In other words, this plan for smuggling more roughage into your life.